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Aries men are ruled by the planet Mars, named after the Roman god of war. So it’s no surprise that they’re natural-born leaders who are always up for a challenge, love to take charge, and tell it like it is. 1 They’re also fiercely independent and have a strong sense of self. If you’re playing the game of love with an Aries man, you may find yourself feeling like you’re always one step behind.
But here’s the thing — there are ways to beat an Aries man at his own game. And when we say “beat someone at their own game,” we mean using their own tactics to your advantage. This could be anything from playing to their ego to using their weaknesses to flip the script.
The goal? Outsmart them and come out on top. So if you’re tired of always feeling like you’re chasing an Aries man, keep reading for some tips that’ll put you back in the driver’s seat.
Want to know how to get an Aries to chase you? Read our Aries compatibility guide here!
1. Use his ego against him
One of the best ways to beat an Aries man is by using his ego against him. Aries is all about Aries. There is no we but I. There is no duo, trio, group, and the world but me. Aries views everything from the perspective of self. 2 You know how much these guys love to be the center of attention, so go ahead and use that to your advantage!
Make him feel like he’s the only person in the room, even if there are a dozen other people around. Compliment his accomplishments and let him know how much you admire his drive and ambition. Aries men love nothing more than to be adored, so doing this puts you in his good graces. Once you realize your words have that kind of power over him, you’ve got the upper hand in any situation.
2. Flirt with him, then suddenly back off
As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries is all about initiation. He’s the one who always makes the first move, whether it’s asking you out or sending a flirty text. 2 So one way to beat him at his own game? Flip the script and be the one who initiates. When you flirt with him, you’re essentially telling him you’re attracted — and you’ll notice him starting to give you more attention in return.
But here’s where it gets good — once he feels like he’s caught your eye, you suddenly pull back. This will leave him wondering what happened and make him work even harder to get your attention. At the end of the day, you’ve got the power because you were the one in control from the start. It’s a great way to get him to pursue you without making it obvious.
3. Offer complete freedom
An Aries man loves his freedom and can’t stand feeling constricted in any way. They move through life with high energy and dislike anything that feels like a burden. 2 So one way to beat him at his own game is by giving him exactly what he wants — complete freedom. This could mean giving him space in the relationship or not nagging him about his various adventures.
Aries men need to feel like they’re in control of their own lives, so by offering this freedom, you’re showing him you get it. In return, he’ll start seeking your advice and company because he knows you’re someone who understands him and won’t try to clip his wings.
4. Show him your independent side
This matters for two big reasons when it comes to the game.
First, he needs to see that you’re not going to be a clingy partner who’s always attached to his hip and his plans. Show him that you’re a strong individual with a life outside of him and that you’re not about to drop everything just because he snaps his fingers.
Second, it makes you way more attractive to him. Aries loves a challenge, and once they set their mind on something, they’re determined to conquer it. 2 So if you can show him that you’re a challenge worth pursuing, he’ll be all the more drawn to you.
One way to do this is by keeping your own hobbies, friends, and goals front and center. Don’t be afraid to show him that you can take care of yourself and that you don’t need him to save you. This will only make him respect you more — and want you more too.
5. Show him how much you need him in his life
This is the complete opposite of what we just talked about, but it’s equally effective.
Aries are inherently dominant and love feeling important and useful. 3 When you show an Aries man how much you need him in your life, he starts thinking he can’t live without you — and that’s exactly the reaction you’re going for.
Maybe ask him for help with something around the house or at work. Or tell him how much you appreciate everything he does for you. Whatever it is, make sure he knows how much you value him, and watch as he starts falling head over heels.
6. Compare him to other men
An Aries man loves to be the best at everything, so if you compare him to other men in a positive way, he’ll be putty in your hands. At their best, Aries men are ardent and thoroughly original. 1 So if you can find ways to highlight what makes him special, he’ll be hooked.
One approach is complimenting him on his unique qualities. Find things you genuinely admire about him and tell him. He’ll be so flattered that you see him in this light that he’ll do anything to keep you around.
Another way is by emphasizing his strengths. Aries men are natural leaders, so if you compare him favorably to other successful people, he’ll be impressed and motivated to live up to your expectations. 3
Of course, don’t go overboard or he’ll catch on that you’re just flattering him. But a few well-placed compliments will definitely work in your favor.
7. Suggest competitive activities that you can beat him at
As we mentioned, an Aries man loves a challenge. Aries are the original self-starters, driven and incredibly competitive, often taking on a challenge — or a dare — just to notch another win. 2 So if you suggest competitive activities where you know you’ve got the edge, he’ll be more than happy to play along.
Beyond bringing out his competitive side, you’ll also put him in awe of you. Once you show him how good you are at something, he won’t be able to help but admire you! Plus, showing a competitive side to him is honestly pretty attractive in his eyes too.
8. Be a little passive-aggressive at times
Aries men can be frustrating sometimes because they’re so headstrong and stubborn. If you find yourself getting annoyed with him, it’s okay to be a little passive-aggressive.
This doesn’t mean starting fights or constantly putting him down — that would just poison the relationship. But subtle jabs here and there will let him know he can’t always have his way. Aries love a worthy adversary, so if you stand up to him in a respectful way, he’ll actually start to respect and want you even more. 3
Trust me, he’ll find it a lot harder to manipulate the situation when he knows you’re not afraid to push back.
Don’t take things too far, though, or he’ll start thinking you’re just difficult. A little bit of healthy pushback can actually work really well in your favor.
9. Be mysterious
An Aries man loves a good mystery, so if you can keep him guessing, he’ll be way more intrigued by you. Stay a little aloof and don’t give away everything about yourself right away. 3 This will make him want to know more about you and work harder to figure you out.
Keep some things to yourself and let him come to you for answers. The more he has to discover about you, the more interested he’ll be. And who knows — maybe you’ll even teach him a thing or two along the way!
10. Encourage him with his goals and ambitions
An Aries man is ambitious and wants to achieve great things, so it’s important that you support his goals. Aries are quick on their feet and love taking calculated risks, so if you can help him see the potential in what he’s going after, he’ll appreciate you even more. 1
Let him know that you believe in him and that you think he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. This won’t just make him feel good — it’ll motivate him to push harder. Encouraging his goals and ambitions shows him that you’re a supportive partner he can truly count on.
11. Introduce him to new activities and experiences
Aries men are drawn to bright lights and new thrills, so if you can introduce him to fresh activities and experiences, he’ll be all in. Aries are known for their sense of adventure and love trying new things, so showing him that you’re just as adventurous will draw him to you. 3
Whether it’s bungee jumping, skydiving, or even just checking out a new restaurant, an Aries man will be intrigued by anything that piques his interest. Keep him guessing and introduce him to exciting new experiences, and he’ll be drawn to you like a moth to a flame.
12. Show off your planning skills
Making snap decisions in the heat of the moment is one of the things Aries men are known for. 2 That can be both a blessing and a curse, since it sometimes leads to impulsive choices. If you can show him that you’re equally good at thinking things through, he’ll be genuinely impressed.
When he invites you on a spontaneous outing, don’t be afraid to match his energy. But also let him see that you can take the lead when a plan is needed. Offer to make restaurant reservations or grab tickets to a show. He’ll respect your ability to think on your feet and appreciate that you’re not afraid to take charge. This shows him you’re a well-rounded person he can rely on.
13. Encourage him to follow through
An Aries’ follow-through — or lack thereof — is one of their biggest strengths and flaws rolled into one. They love anything new and fresh but can quickly get bored with the same routine. 2 That’s why it’s important to encourage him to finish what he starts.
If he tells you he’s going to do something, hold him to it. This doesn’t mean nagging or constantly reminding him — nobody wants that. But gently checking in from time to time shows him you’re paying attention and that you expect him to follow through on his word. This tells him you’re someone who holds him accountable, and he’ll respect you for it.
14. Initiate discussions and debates
Highly opinionated, Aries men love a good discussion or debate. 3 They’re passionate and outspoken, so if you engage them in meaningful conversation, they’ll be more than happy to dive in.
When you’re talking to an Aries man, don’t hold back on sharing your opinions. Aries men don’t expect you to agree with them on everything, but they do want someone who can hold their own. 3 Go after it — engage him in a debate and show him that you’re an intelligent and confident person who isn’t afraid to speak their mind. He’ll respect you so much for it.
15. Get him in touch with his emotions
Emotionally, Aries men can really struggle to express themselves. They often hit walls when it comes to handling and relating to other people’s feelings. 1 If you can help him open up emotionally, he’ll be grateful — even if he doesn’t show it right away.
One way to do this is by being open and honest about your own feelings. When you’re talking to him, don’t be afraid to share how you’re feeling. This shows him that it’s okay to express emotions and encourages him to do the same. He may be caught off guard at first, but at the end of the day, he’ll appreciate your honesty and be more likely to open up to you in return.
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- The Astrology of You and Me: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life
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Related articles
Orion, R. (2007). Astrology For Dummies (2nd ed.). For Dummies. ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎
Ma, R. K. B. (2007). Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Astrology: The Easy Way to Learn Astrology (Llewellyn’s Complete Book Series, 1). Llewellyn Publications. ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎
Goldschneider, G., & Chew, C. (2018). The Astrology of You and Me: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life (Reissue ed.). Quirk Books. amazon.com ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎ ↩︎
Amy Clark
Amy Clark is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, marriage, and family. She has been happily married for over ten years and loves her husband and three kids. Before …
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